It was movie theme week over here on our Aussie X Factor and as if the cliched film reel intros weren’t enough, we also copped all the usual air-grabbing ballads.
You know the ones I’m talking about – everything from Aerosmith to Whitney, ‘Eye of The Tiger’, ‘I Say A Little Prayer for You’ to ‘All By Myself’.
All I know is that if Amanda Grafanakis was still in the competition, she’d do one better and would be belting ‘Part of Your World’ from The Little Mermaid. Because that’s what I’d do and, Amanda and I share gay brainwaves.
Here’s a recap of who delivered and who was delivered home this week. Snap! [Editor’s note: Again with the bad puns. Don’t encourage him.]
Who brought it:
Bow in the presence of greatness, children. Hayley Teal is the goddamn queen. Watching her carried in by topless, lubed up man servants and then stomping out to Whitney‘s ‘Queen of The Night’ made me the proudest gay man alive.
Caveman Altiyan Childs, I don’t care what you do to unwind. If you keep bringing the fiyah like this every week, you’re set to become the nation’s favourite new rock star. True talk.
Sally Chatfield doing ‘All By Myself’ had me reaching for that last tub of ice cream in my freezer. I just can’t. This is too much. Isn’t this chick meant to be sick as well? God damn.
India Rose barely strutting out Fame didn’t do it for Guy but it was unanimous across the board: lady totally tore it up vocally. It was like watching someone snatch trophies in the vocal acrobatics Olympics. Impressed doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Having said that, there was something ensembly offensive about that flowing waist coat. Isn’t this the look some country singer would rock on her comeback performance after giving birth to twins? I see you nodding.
Bitch please moments:
Natalie Imbruglia – the flawless fembot. This is actually a compliment, y’guys. Isn’t she just a vision of perfection?
And Nat is off with the rainbow unicorns again. Oh, she tried for weeks but there’s no denying this woman her technicolour ensembles.
ALL HAIL HAYLEY TEAL. Finally, somebody else gets what it’s like to arrive like a queen. This is how I rock up to the call centre every Monday. It’s hard being this fabulous all the time and that’s why I need all the help I can get.
The sixth week lowest polling acts came down to India Rose and Mahogany.
A tragedy for the true warblers in the competition but everyone knew it would come to this.
India Rose hasn’t been polling well with the public for weeks now and there’s only so much this poor deflated soul can handle being told week after week that she’s not wanted in the competition.
Mahogany is technically flawless for the most part but as far as the Australian market goes – there’s really not a lot of demand for girl bands. It pains me to write this because there are folks out here having to out source lady love to the likes of Girls Aloud, Sugababes and Pussycat Dolls because we haven’t got any decently supported local girl groups. At least, that’s how I would justify Mahogany regularly hitting the bottom in this competition anyway.
After a struggle behind the panel, the judges finally bid KTHXBAI to the lovely India Rose.