This is arguably the most boring week on X Factor UK this year.
The American classics theme didn’t really bode well with me and it’s largely at fault of the prosaic song choices. I managed to stay still when I saw Katie Waissel coming for Gwen Stefani‘s wig in ‘Don’t Speak’ but when one of my favourites, Mary Byrne, choked on Faith Hill‘s swan song ‘There You’ll Be’ – I decided enough was enough.
Here’s a rundown of who excelled this week and who the competition bid KTHXBAI to.
Who brought it:
Rebecca Ferguson has once again reached out and tugged on my heartstrings this week. It’s hands down the most overplayed song on this season of X Factor but the world has yet to hear Rebecca’s take on ‘Make You Feel My Love’. Somewhere in a tiny apartment outside of London, Annastacia Baker is sticking pins into her Cheryl doll again.
Matt Cardle made my nose bleed with his exceptional falsetto range this week. If ‘The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face)’ wasn’t hallowed ground before, it certainly is now.
Bitch please moments:
I present to you: Cher Lloyd by Mattel. Cheryl, what have you done with our resident Malvern hood petal? Young Cher has totally softened up this week. Her performance was light on scowls and frowns, her countenance is a vision of soft pink gloss and blush… it’s almost too much for me.
Harry from One Direction, please put some clothes on. We don’t want to excite the kiddie fiddlers now, do we?
The fifth week eliminations came down to serial offenders: Treyc Cohen and, once again, Katie Waissel.
Much as I think Louis‘s dilemma was a wank – see: “My head says to save TreyC but my heart says to save Katie…” – you have to agree that both ladies make up for what the other lack. It comes down to the competition’s age old battle. Vocal supremacy versus performance spark – or as we’d aptly call it, the “X factor”.
As you’d expect, the judges are going in favour of someone who’ll light up the screen and make for interesting TV week in and out – and so, it was a quick KTHXBAI to poor Treyc Cohen.