Australia, are you ready for your top three?
This is the last of our live shows and with a colossal #1s theme at task, our X Factor final four shamefully slipped into auto-pilot mode.
It’s disappointing to see that at the point of the competition where back to back show stoppers need to be happening, the judges have skewered it with mostly uninspiring staging and song choices.
Our final four had to razzle dazzle with two songs this week and almost everyone turned up with a ballad and an uptempo track in each hand. Mind you, not one of them bowed out with us loving both performances.
Here’s a look at who got the Feed Limmy nod in the semi final show and, of course, them bitch please moments.
Who brought it:
Altiyan Childs bringing the choir for a sentimental 80s rock ballad totally worked for me. What I’m not hearing is this mindless drivel about him dropping the ball this week because he chose to mellow it out. Please. He can’t be purveying the same brand of bogue pub rock every week for your entertainment. Altiyan Childs is a true rock gawd. Look that up in the thesaurus, you won’t find one-trick pony listed under it.
Andrew Lawson, even I must admit, this was pretty fine. Talk about a suave recovery after that dreadfully cheesy first performance of the night. This rendition of ‘Something Stupid’ is something Sony Music could easily leaf out for Mothers Day season. Target market found.
Mahogany getting vocal intensive on a string-soaked cover of Bryan Adam‘s ‘Heaven’ is just what the fans ordered. These ladies have teetered the tightrope all season with the ballads. While the harmonies are always flawless, the song choices haven’t always been. You can tag this performance as a return to form for the girls but it’s still not on the hair-raising level of their ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ and ‘Whataya Want From Me?’ covers.
Are you getting this vision of perfection?
Natalie Imbruglia did more than brought it on this week’s elimination show. She fucking backed up that 18-tonne tanker of hotness and dropped it like it was demolition.
Bitch please moments:
HAS SHAKAYA TAUGHT YOU NOTHING? Mahogany saunters into dangerous territory here with a finger snapping cover of Michael Jackson‘s ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’.
Guy, I’ve got Megan Washington on the other line? She’d like the specs back, thanks.
“Are you changing that little bit or did you just stuff that up?” – Natalie has her own way of reassuring Sally in the weekly rehearsals.
“You can’t always make love fast. Sometimes you gotta slow down.” – Altiyan defends his choice of rock balladry this week. Limmy loses his appetite.
“We’re gonna make a record together anyway, Altiyan.” – RoRo, you don’t say shit like this while the public’s still voting. The last thing you want is for fans to get complacent in the final stretch. Having said that, I’m getting my dial on because I don’t think Altiyan should have to settle for second best.
It’s a good thing Luke Jacobz assured us that there’s no “bottom two” acts this week. The three acts put through to the finals were called in no particular order, we’re just saying KTHXBAI to the lowest polling contestant.
You could hear a collective groan and sigh emanating from every lounge room in Australia when Andrew Lawson was called through to next week’s finale.
Apart from that, Feed Limmy‘s made a pretty close call all season re: the X Factor finalists. My holy trinity for this series had always been envisioned with Altiyan Childs and Sally Chatfield going neck to neck with Mahogany claiming bronze but alas, our harmony girl group failed to secure the votes this week and had to bow out.
There’s nothing good about this goodbye because as much as I believe that Mahogany‘s now got the perfect platform to launch their career, I’m still breaking cold sweat contemplating what musical direction they’re headed for.
Are they cool enough for the contemporary pop market or will they inadvertently be marketed as this sweet as pudding harmony girl group that only gets pulled out once a year for telethon specials? I want so much for these girls to breakout with a killer pop album and just blow me.
It’s not fair that Guy gets all the fun.