Australia, pop the champagne and lift the velvet rope for our new X Factor winner: Altiyan Childs.
This is the fairy tale ending for the underdog who swept the nation along for his ride to stardom in the last two months.
As much as I would’ve loved for Sally Chatfield to take the crown, this feels right. Altiyan produced – and succeeded in – just the kind of transformation show producers get wet for. Who would’ve thought that this crestfallen rock singer with a habit of forgetting his lyrics could soar to be the champion of the series? Remember the boos and hisses when RoRo took him through to the live shows?
At risk of sounding overly caught up in sentiments: there is a glow of optimism in the air tonight.
Altiyan‘s winning single ‘Somewhere In The World’ is up for download now right here. Fingers crossed, we’ll eventually be able to purchase Sally‘s version of the winning single.
Just as the after party is carrying on backstage, let’s take a step back and reminisce on the series that’s been.
2010 saw our Aussie X Factor franchise throttling back on screens with all the pyro, drama and show bonanza the nation has yet to experience in one talent show.
After close to three months on air with numerous star cameos and even a globe-trot to New York, Los Angeles, Ireland and Richard Branson‘s private island along the way – it’s time to wrap it up with a look at this collection of unforgettable X Factor performances and the ultimate bitch please moments in this series.
Yes. You got that right. Consider this your Feed Limmy X Factor Greatest Hits compilation with a bonus disc of fuckery to boot.
Who brought it this series:
Mahogany – Lady Marmalade
Guy‘s supreme harmony sister group blew out the competition with an unexpectedly fierce and sexy performance sadly never to be repeated in any of their subsequent jaunts. Stripper heels and a Moulin Rouge-inspired set, all that’s missing is fake dollar bills raining down at the end.
Hayley Teal – Queen of The Night
Queens, please genuflect for your fearless new leader. Everything about this performance was pure fiyah from the arrival on a man-powered palanquin through to the sassy growls and strut. Be warned. This won’t be the last you’ll see of Ms Hayley.
Altiyan Childs – Living On A Prayer
This appeals to our inner pub rock bogue. Don’t fight it – I know you have it in you too. When Altiyan is switched on, it is utterly electric.
Mahogany – While My Guitar Gently Weeps
If you’re not getting chills when these ladies slide up to the chorus, you’re either dead or suffering from some kind of sensory failure. It’s a classic wet Mahogany ballad, just as stunning as their rendition of ‘Whataya Want From Me?’
Amanda Grafanakis – Vogue
You know our beloved Gaga-peddlin’ squirrel did this just for us, right? She got out the headset, worked the choreography down pat and even brought in the faux paparazzi. It’s not gimmicky if you’ve all imagined yourself doing this a thousand times in your head.
Sally Chatfield – Red
Our X Factor princess was privy to the occasional interesting song choice. You know, when Nat’s not pandering her to the public with mostly generic pop/rock tracks? This aching rendition of Daniel Merriweather‘s ‘Red’ was playing on all the right levels of soul and subtlety.
Andrew Lawson – Black & Gold
Now, now people. I know what ya’ll think of Andrew but props where props are due, please. This was the one performance where the jazzy singer looked cool and completely in command of an almighty set.
Defining bitch please moments of the series:
“You carried me on your shoulders. It wasn’t the plane that got me here… it was you.” – Classic Altinan moment. Makes me weep every time.
Kyle locking lips with Natalie. It was a little vile to watch and my stomach still churns at the thought of it. This couldn’t be further from the romance X Factor fans have been shipping for in RoRo and Nat.
“When you’re up there singing should I, as a straight man, be looking at the male dancers? No, I should be fixated on you with awe and amazement…” – Kyle, we can’t make you keep your eyes on the straight and narrow. We can’t.
Natalie‘s bitch please face when India-Rose failed to rock that key change.
Love lorn James McNally and female companion starring in a tacky production only fit for karaoke music videos.
The Hayley Teal booty pump. This is solid gold. I’ll never tire of seeing this.
THIS OUTFIT. My corneas are still wailing and throwing ashes, absolutely mourning their loss of innocence.
Verdict on the series:
While I won’t go as far as saying the X Factor is a monster ratings winner, there must be something said about its appeal if it’s consistently drawing over a million viewers each episode.
Should we expect another season next year? That’s anyone’s guess right now.
Show producers and the judges need to remember that it’s a televised talent show where its appeal lies as much in the hands of the personalities on screen as it is on the talent on stage. If the viewers come away feeling entertained and connected with the judges and contestants on screen, there’s no reason why this show can’t be a success.
Feigned semi-high brow critique ovah! Let’s just giggle over Guy‘s Blew Me Blunder again.
I know this has nothing to do with the series – and maybe I’m just swept up in the euphoria of Altiyan‘s triumph – but I’d like to thank everyone for reading, retweeting and loving on my X Factor Australia posts. It’s been a weekly commitment and in my crazy little head, this is just a scrap book I’m honoured to share with all you readers and show fans.