Cheryl Cole ‘The Flood’ Live at Royal Variety Performance

When a backing track just won’t do, luv, we’re also gonna pitch correct you as you warble.

Is there anything Geordie goddess Cheryl Cole won’t do to ensure that she sounds sparkling in a live performance? This is calls for a bitch, please of the highest order. I mean, shit, I haven’t even got a higher scale prepared for the immensity of this fuckery.

I’ve actually never felt this outraged over any of her performances before but that’s probably because there was always shiny choreography to keep me distracted. Here we’re treated to Cheryl just standing and delivering one in front of a glorified urinal.

Seriously, what were these folks applauding for? I know your ears were long shot by the time Chezza got to the acapella ending.


‘The Flood’ is out 3 January in the UK.

On a somewhat commendable note, the X Factor judge has some tremendous work ethic heading straight into promo mode after sitting still for all but two minutes since the series ended on Sunday.



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