Cheryl Cole Live on Alan Carr

Damn. Run and tell somebody to mop this shit up off my floor.

Why am I putting myself through another rendition of ‘The Flood’? I have no regrets about putting this in my Top 20 songs of the year but my ears have declared a moratorium on all future “live” performances of this song.

If you’re into self-mutilation, here’s Chezza going for dear life with ‘The Flood’ on Alan Carr‘s Chatty Man:

Why the band kicked up an extra five BPM on the tempo, I’ll never know. Maybe they’re just trying to hurry this shit along so they can go out and get paid for actually playing live.

What happened to the Geordie goddess, seriously? How did she go from making all the right stylistic decisions last year through to looking like a WAG bridesmaid there? And then there’s this awfully dated midriff dress:

I’m actually far more forgiving than most music bloggeur queens but I have to put a smackdown on this cheap and dated look. When your left derry cheek is cashing more cheques than Nadine‘s entire royalty benefits, your hair has no business looking like a greasy inspiration from Smash Hits circa 2001.

GURL. Get it together.

Footnotes:

Nadine‘s second solo single ‘Put Your Hands Up’ is out next month. People have stopped talking about a Nuhdeen/Chezza showdown because I think most folks are plain tired of this fuckery. Cue a kooky indie Nicola Roberts album, if you must, then bring back Girls Aloud A-SAP.

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