Leak Report: Britney Spears ‘Hold It Against Me’

Stans and glittery queens of the interwebs, this is not news for you so shuffle along and finish sippin’ on that strawberry-flavoured milkshake.

Approximately 13 hours ago, the legendary Britney Spears‘ new single ‘Hold It Against Me’ leaked online.

You might’ve noticed something when your mum came knocking on your bedroom door asking you to check the modem because she’s experiencing drop outs in the middle of her important eBay bid for haberdashery… but that wasn’t your net service provider fucking up.

It was the avalanche of Brit stans crashing the interwebs over the leak.

So what do we make of ‘Hold It Against Me’? Well, it’s a return to straight up BritBrit powerpop – sans vocal contorting effects and dizzying overproductions.

There’s a smattering of dubstep in the frenetic strobelit breakdown but compared to the epic breakdowns of, say, ‘Bad Romance’ and ‘Only Girl In The World’ – this is only a B – rating at best.

All you need to know is the chills you get when Brit slips on a drunk drawl when she croons “hazaaaay…” and that magnificent chorus that’ll have everyone reaching for the heavens and prompt some dramatic miming on the dance floor.

Queens, you know what I’m talking about. We’ve all done it before. One hand on your chest, the other doing some form of slutty finger pointing at a hot piece.

Also brilliant to note that despite the Dr Luke association and premise of the demo, the final mix of ‘Hold It Against Me’ thankfully doesn’t sound like a Ke$ha cast-off. Have a listen, if you haven’t already:

Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me by djraize

Feed Limmy verdict: Mighty snap (x 100)

Snap legend
Mighty snap = this is a hit.
Bounce snap = instantly likeable.
Lightbulb snap = you will need a moment to get into this.
Nonchalant snap = need I say more?
No snap = please cease and decease.

Footnotes:

According to our friends at Auspop, ‘Hold It Against Me’ was supposed to be issued to Aussie radios 4pm today but Sony peeps weren’t warming seats when they heard the track leak last night.

The song has since been rushed off to radios this morning and it’s now available on iTunes. Hype capitalisation: maximised. Kudos all around.

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