This post is obviously a matter of such extreme importance that my jet lagged ass is willing to give the pause hand to a comfy bed beckoning.
After dipping into a different time zone for six days and forsaking the interwebs, my inbox greeted me with a king-hit of new music news that’s probably already gone stale from waiting at the post for so long but this, no this, I can’t deny.
Jennifer Lopez – whose business card now reads: “Latin entertainment goddess of epic Dow Jones endowment and new dame judge of American Idol” – has finally unfastened the “first” single from her much-delayed Love? album.
‘On The Floor’ featuring Pitbull and produced by alpha pop producer RedOne is gonna divide the herd, just you wait and see.
If I may lead my pop trash loving lambs to greener pastures for a minute, you’d hear bleatings of sheer hot tamale excellence with particular praise for the modern Latin club flavour and sage sampling of ‘Lambada’.
Then if we turn and tend to the cattle tirelessly masticating on her strutworthy hits of ‘Get Right’ and ‘Louboutins’, you’d hear boo!-mooings with particular disdain for the lightweight pop/house production and gastronomically unsettling sample of ‘Lambada’.
Have a listen to the track, if you haven’t already, and tell Limmy if you’re shuffling with the lambs or boo!-mooings with them cattle:
Feed Limmy verdict: Lightbulb snap.
Mighty snap = this is a hit.
Bounce snap = instantly likeable.
Lightbulb snap = you will need a moment to get into this.
Nonchalant snap = need I say more?
No snap = please cease and decease.
“If you’re a criminal kill’it on the floor, steal it quick on the floor!”
I personally need to masticate on this one a little longer, which might imply that I’m grazing with the hating cattle but don’t count me out just yet. I have traditionally loved every J.Lo release. Yes, even Brave came around for me in the later months.
Mami Jenni‘s known for her dance pop tracks and ‘On The Floor’ is bowing in front of all the right altars – the vibe is right, the Latin flavour is represented… but I’m just not sold on the “global party anthem” thing it’s trying so hard to achieve.
Hello, world. This ain’t no ‘Party O’Clock’.
‘On The Floor’ premiered on Ryan Seacrest‘s show a few days before the new season of American Idol went to air. It’s set to be released digitally in Australia on 31 January.
In the meantime, queens, don’t hold back your adulation for the fabulous cover art. Who can we thank for jacking up the photoshop sorcery and reimagining the magic behind Mimi‘s ‘Loverboy’ and Kylie‘s Aphrodite art directions?