Change is about to go down as we see a new generation of show stoppers emerge from this year’s UK X Factor line up.
Basically, all our frontrunners like Misha B, Janet Devlin and Little Mix need to check themselves before they lose their place to other acts that are finally getting their game on. Gary‘s boys are steady upgrading their game and at this rate, I’m left gripping tighter to my seat every Sunday, hoping against hope that Craig Colton don’t win this damn thing.
During the week, songs of praise could be heard rising to the heaven-seated lap of Jehovah after news broke of Frankie Cocozza quitting the X Factor. While this had Kelendria stunned with her nostrils opened wide, most of us simply let out a sweet sigh of relief because I don’t think I could see another thoroughly capable performer sent home while the faux rocker leapfrogs through.
Frankie‘s loss is another’s gain as show producers quickly leapt to another headline-grabbing stunt. They decided that the public should vote one of the four acts that were sent home in the first week back into the competition. The polls turned out in overwhelming favour for Amelia Lily‘s return, giving her a 48% lead ahead of fellow axed contestants 2 Shoes, James Michael and Jonjo Kerr, who shall forever be referred to as the booger of this series.
Amelia essentially had 48 hours to get her shit together, learn the song, and slot her ass back into the competition. I’m not sure if I agree with the pink-haired teen’s return at the halfway mark. While I believe she can turn out a quality performance, the odds are very much stacked against her. She’s had less time than than everyone else to get used to the competition and develop her artistic angle. She’s also had half the amount of exposure. Although, I might argue that Amelia‘s one week jaunt was more memorable than however many stints Sophie Habibis has had all together.
Can this really work for Amelia Lily? Is this even about giving a fallen contestant a chance? Or is the X Factor starting to turn out more stunts than a desperate reality series?
Check out more thoughts on this week’s Queen vs Lady Gaga themed show, the standout performers, and why public got it wrong with the Power Bottom Two:
1) Marcus Collins, don’t phunk with my heart.
It’s actually quite frightening how fucking on point Marcus Collins is all the sudden. Last week‘s unbridled funk reinvention was a revelation and this week, it’s all about solidifying that brand with a soulful cover of ‘Another One Bites The Dust’.
This has to be the performance of the night, y’guys. I can’t fault it. The arrangement, vocal execution and visual presentation feels completely original for a Queen classic that’s been done to death before. Snaps all around for Marcus Collins – I can see that under this new artistic flow, the man’s gonna go further than any solo male R&B singer in X Factor history.
Watch Marcus Collins slay with ‘Another One Bites The Dust’:
2) Fuck yeah, Kelendriaisms.
This is what I live for. However caricature it may seem, Kelendria‘s sassy grown woman persona is becoming a bit of a show fixture. Are all the whitest of white folk (like Louis Walsh) utterly enthralled with her urban American lingo?
Honey boo boo, them Kelendriaisms were out in full force this week – featuring highlights like “Manchester, y’all better pick up yo’ phown and vote fo’ yo’ own”. Needless to say, something was lost in translation because Misha B wound up with the fewest votes this week.
The former Destiny’s Child vixen is also notably less argumentative this week. The atmosphere from behind the panel was certainly a hundred degrees cooler without the fire-breathing battle that usually happens between her and Louis. And let me just say, it’s gotta be down to the bangs.
True talk. Kelendria becomes more aggressive when she’s got that other long curly weave on. She was much nicer during the auditions when she was sporting the fringe. I think there must be something incredibly calming about the mega bangs that really brings out the sweet inner Southern belle in her.
Y’all can see more displays of that sweet, gracious side in this press conference where Kelly talks about Frankie’s departure.
3) Little Mix: their B-grade week is still A-game material for some.
These four can’t be fucked with. Y’all already know where I stand with Little Mix. For Queen vs Lady Gaga week Tulisa did pull out the obvious with a ‘Radio Gaga/Telephone’ mash up but is that such a sin, y’guys? I hear the criticisms loud and clear about this being predictable, but I’d much rather see them give me what I want than to fuck up their brand with something outlandish.
This may not be Little Mix‘s strongest moment but it still shits over your faves:
4) Janet Devlin don’t give a fuck.
Y’all know Janet couldn’t give any less of a fuck what the judges have to say about her or her performance. The girl played y’all with them waify vocals and faint ballads, letting you think she was just some green timid country girl who’s still trying to make sense of it all. I think Janet Devlin is a total boss and she’ll be the type of independent artist who would see success in her own terms.
However, after this week’s coma-inducing performance, I’m starting to wonder how much longer she’ll have left before the public gets bored of her schtick.
Watch Janet Devlin‘s ethereal Queen cover:
5) Misha B, sweetheart, this ain’t Glee.
I’m left wondering, for the third week in a row, where the bad ass Misha B has gone. Something is not connecting with me here. Everything about this – from her look to the song choice and arrangement – feels forced. I can’t fault miss thang on that vocal. It was giving me everything and more.
But since when was Misha B officially remodelled into Jennifer Hudson? The slight urban inflection they tried to slip in for the second half fell absolutely at odds with the song’s sentiment. You can almost feel Kitty Brucknell rolling her eyes through the whole thing.
Watch Misha B cover Lady Gaga‘s ‘Born This Way’:
This week’s power bottom two: Kitty Brucknell and Misha B.
As one legendary ex-S Clubber once said, “baby, there ain’t nothing good about this goodbye.”
Two of the competition’s most addictive females have wound up with the least public votes and while neither of them are necessarily the “kind” of pop performers to win the X Factor, there’s no denying that Kitty and Misha both have some form of x-factor.
Both Kitty and Misha have landed in the bottom two before, which prompts me to wonder whether my thinly-spread feminist reading could be validated again. Are the general public threatened by a strong, fierce and innovative female performers?
Last year’s divisive female contestant – Cher Lloyd – had to go a long way to tone down her aggressive style to last as long as she did. The same gracious shelf life, unfortunately, was not extended to Kitty.
Let’s not waste time being circumspect about this. The bitch is cray cray but I felt that she was always on the right track as a performer – it just takes others a little longer to get it. And y’know what? In recent weeks, I actually thought the public was starting to get Kitty Brucknell. This week we saw the theatrical blonde vixen soften them crazy arched eyebrows and deliver a knock-out “signature” Kitty performance – and yet somehow, it wasn’t enough.
Misha B, on the other hand, is once again suffering under the heavy hand of misrepresentation. That bossbitch swag she was serving in the first and second live show eps has waned dramatically. I feel like Tulisa should be mentoring the 19-year old instead because Kelendria is draining every authentic British urban flavour from her system.
I reckon the public generally believe in Misha and are all rooting for her, but this is just another slap to remind us that they won’t put up with ill-fitting song choices for her any longer.
Kitty‘s likeability is a huge issue that cannot be under rugs swept. When it came down to the judges’ verdict, Gary Barlow was the only one to cast a vote against her for that. Tulisa sided with Misha saying the Brit R&B star’s music is the one that appeals to her the most and opted to send Kitty home.
Y’all know this was the ultimate desperate bow-out to beat. While a big part of me was cheering for Kitty‘s “nothing to lose” approach in her final minutes on the show, that look on Dermott‘s face when she took his mic to do an impromptu warble of ‘Born This Way’ was priceless. Miss girl, you need to keep on keeping on.