Bonnie Anderson ‘Blackout’ Music Video

Oh no she di’nt. One single in and 19-year old Aussie pop siren Bonnie Anderson has officially hit her good girl gone bad phase.

Bonnie Anderson Blackout Video

The teen sensation, who made her proper recording career debut last year with ‘Raise The Bar’, has transformed herself into a video vixen in her new single ‘Blackout’.

The video casts Bonnie as a femme fatale lurking in a futuristic sex dream loaded with enough Freudian imagery to make a child psychologist’s eyes water.

Did y’all clock the phallic train piercing the darkness and CGI imagery of a volcano erupting, spilling larva down the side? *sprinkles holy water*

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Austin Mahone “The Secret” EP

Eighteen-year old Texan heartthrob Austin Mahone recaptures power pop styles of the early-millennium on his second EP: The Secret. N Sync would be proud!

Austin Mahone The Secret

The definition of ‘retro’ is quickly pulled from under our feet as a new generation of entertainers rise, many of them taking it in their stride to re-appropriate pop styles they grew up with in the mid-90s to early 2000s.

It’s clear that Swedish pop producer Max Martin‘s sound is the blueprint for Austin‘s latest collection of tunes. Martin’s sound dominated the mainstream music scene in the late 90s, most prominently through monumental hits by Backstreet BoysBritney Spears and N Sync. If you are looking for a slice of boyband pop nostalgia with a modern twist, The Secret is the EP for you.

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Feed Limmy Songs of 2012: #20 – #11

At this point, y’all are probably thinking, ‘anything goes with this goddamn list.’

Songs of 2012: #20 - #11

I’ve tried really hard to suppress my delight in some of these songs because I know in my head, they’re probably non-events to the majority of you “discerning pop music listeners” but  under very inexplicable circumstances I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy the likes of Toni Braxton‘s barely-known dance single ‘I Heart You’ and even Melanie Amaro‘s saccharine uptempo ‘Don’t Fail Me Now’.

Not just enjoy. But I’ve kept each of these songs on repeat in all sorts of places – when I’m up in the gym, strutting down supermarket aisles, roaming the streets of Paris by myself. Everywhere.

Here are the tracks that reign in my Top 20 this year:

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Havana Brown “When The Lights Go Out” EP review

I bowed my head slightly, said a prayer to the Lord, and sprinkled holy water from the Tabernacle of Michelle Williams on my iPod before I hit ‘play’ because I knew I was going to hate this and I was seeking grace from above to find something noteworthy to say about Havana Brown‘s new EP.

First of all, I need you to know that I am quite happy to be a Havana Brown Apologiser because I love a good Australian female pop vixen. Her breakthrough smash ‘We Run The Night’ was one of my favourite songs of 2011 and I still krump furiously to that dance breakdown at every chance.

However, here’s where the great chasm of doubt crosses our path. The Australian producers behind ‘We Run The Night’ and its lesser follow up ‘Get It’ – More Mega – were ditched long before When The Lights Go Out even spawned. Havana’s personal and professional relationship with her early hitmakers pretty much soured when mega pop producer RedOne got involved with her career – read: remixed ‘We Run The Night’, slapped on Pitbull, and propelled the song to global success.

RedOne himself serves as executive producer on this EP (producing three of the five tracks) and the whole project is released under a partnership between his 2101 label and Island Australia. The Moroccan producer’s Midas touch would’ve been selling point enough for any pop music surveyor to get on board When The Lights Go Out – except, guess what? The songs are rubbish.

Here we see the DJ-cum-popstar front a string of uneventful dance cuts that wash up exactly like what you’d expect from a Sophie Monk 2012 comeback. Almighty pop hooks that match the immensity of ‘We Run The Night’ – absent. Any hint of star potential and personality – absent.

RedOne‘s own contributions are perhaps the most dire of the lot – particularly the single ‘You’ll Be Mine’, which is evidently the most spectacular piece of fairground music ever written for a Hello Kitty theme park.

Richard Vission (producer behind several of Hilary Duff‘s Dignity tracks and more recently, Luciana‘s hit ‘I Like That’) hems a frenetic dubstep ballad – ‘One Way Trip’ – that would have sounded exponentially better if the productions had been more restraint.

The beastly R3hab-produced club track ‘Big Banana’ is possibly the only track I would salvage from this godforsaken project. I won’t sugar coat it. Y’all will hate it for the insipid lyrics, Havana’s knock-off Ke$ha rap, and various elements recalling everything you dislike about LMFAO – but it is by far the most infectious track here. And put it this way, if this was released by your favourite K-pop girl band like, say, 2NE1 – y’all would be crying and shaking over it, so embrace the track for what it is.

The title When The Lights Go Out may have been snatched from ‘We Run The Night’ lyrics but the smash single itself doesn’t feature on the Australian version of the EP. In fact, that’s probably what bothers me the most about this project. This sense of disconnect from what I felt was a promising start in pop for Havana Brown – one where she might emerge with a distinct and tailored club/pop hybrid sound of her own rather than something this deflated and devoid of personal style.

Listen to the international version of When The Lights Go Out – featuring the ‘We Run The Night’ remix in place of another track titled ‘Wonderland (La Da Da Da Di)’, which is on the Aussie edition:



Footnotes:

Havana Brown‘s new single ‘You’ll Be Mine’ was serviced to Aussie radios last week and the above EP is, of course, out now.

Leak Report: Havana Brown ‘City of Darkness’

There is something unsettling about how grown up and pedestrian this new Havana Brown record sounds.

After carving her sound with More Mega – the songwriting/production duo who hemmed her slamming singles ‘We Run The Night’ and ‘Get It’ – Australia’s femme fatale DJ turns it all around with a dull, one-dimensional club piece that is more filler than the killer we’ve come to expect.

Basically, y’all know she should’ve treated MM better, because with the help of Snob Scrilla and Cassie Davis, the girl could have owned the industry with a sound of her own. ‘City of Darkness’ just fails to straddle that potent combination of sounding club-perfect yet radio-ready at the same time like her previous records.

The hooks are blunt and the pulsating backdrop of synths couldn’t be more forgettable. We can definitely rule this out as a contender for the pop charts so fans better pray that Havana‘s got some prized remixes up her sleeve to surrender to Beatport or something.

I know on paper, ‘City of Darkness’ probably sounds like an adequate attempt at making a “meaningful” dance ballad but it’s just not fucking required from a pop star like Havana Brown. Correct me if I’m wrong but I remember reading in some interview that she wanted to be like Pitbull or something, vowing to make fun and uplifting dance music that people won’t be able to resist even if they didn’t necessarily like her. Well, gurl, tell me how you’re gonna take me there with this.

Listen to ‘City of Darkness (Original Mix)’:



Footnotes:

Havana Brown‘s ‘City of Darkness’ is the third offering taken from her forthcoming debut album as a recording artist.

Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull ‘Dance Again’ Single Review

Not even I, with years of experience as an apologiser of Jennifer Lopez music, could go there with this underwhelming filler.

When I first read that J.Lo‘s threatening a new single called something like ‘Dance, Love, Dance Again’ – I was prepared to go to church and hear this bitch preach about picking yourself up and finding love again. I thought I had the chapter and verse all marked out but sadly, this track is not drawing from a well of personal experiences.

Conceptually speaking, ‘Dance Again’ could’ve been a sensible afterword on Jennifer’s Love? era – y’know something uplifting to counter all those “unlucky in love J.Lo” headlines following her divorce? Instead, it feels like an unnecessary and totally off-mark second take on ‘On The Floor’.

‘Dance Again’ sees the pop superstar reunite with mega producer RedOne and rapper Pitbull, but without the crutch of a killer sample to hold up the track, all parties are working at a loss.

This is essentially, unadulterated top-to-toe filler. I would probably reduce all this mess down to a 30-second loop of the chorus and sell that bite size to Dancing With The Stars or whatever dance talent show that features some ex-Pussycat Doll behind the judging panel.

Listen to J.Lo‘s new single with Pitbull ‘Dance Again’:



For a track that’s supposed to turn the party for J.Lo‘s all-important greatest hits compilation – and believe me, the bitch has had some deluxe choons in her time – ‘Dance Again’ really turned out to be a worrying sign that perhaps, the best days of J.Lo‘s music is behind her.

I’m a huge fan of the ho so it’s really disappointing to see that some economy class rush job like this gets priority over proper invested efforts from her last album like the personal ‘(What is) Love?’ or actual stompers a la ‘Invading My Mind’.

Time to take your own advice, boo. As you said in your cameo on will.i.am‘s ‘T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)’ – “you can go hard, or you can go home.” I’m done.

Footnotes:

Jennifer Lopez will release ‘Dance Again’ worldwide on Monday 2 April via Sony Music, an interesting return to the label after a brief stint with Island/Def Jam for her Love? era.

Chart Feed – 03.01.12

Happy new year, y’all. I don’t know who approved my time off last Monday but I’m sorry for leaving y’all without a Christmas week chart feed.

I am back on the grind tonight because I know we need to start this year right. It’s such a traditionally quiet time of the year for music sales, technically all your underachieving faves should be making the Top 10 with no effort at all. But of course, there aren’t ever any surprises when you’re expecting it.

This week’s chart highlights include Michael Buble‘s record-breaking Christmas sales that has cancelled everything he’s put out before this year, Sia‘s third consecutive Aussie Top 30 appearance in five months, Havana Brown‘s American crossover, and shit loads more.

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