The Saturdays “Finest Selection: The Greatest Hits”

It may not seem like it to the average consumer but The Saturdays have clocked up quite a chest full of decent pop singles in the last six years.

Finest Selection The Saturdays

It’s only in the context of a well-earned greatest hits package that you notice just how consistent Rochelle, Vanessa, Una, Frankie and Mollie have been in a brutally competitive pop world.

Finest Selection: The Greatest Hits is The Saturdays’ first best-of collection and it’s an all-encompassing package that features 18 singles (13 of which were UK Top 10 smashes) and three new tracks.

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The Saturdays ‘What Are You Waiting For?’ (and two other awesome new tracks)

We can always count on The Saturdays to get us out of our seats but ‘What Are You Waiting For?’ isn’t your regular call to the dance floor – it’s a bossy push.

What Are You Waiting For? The Saturdays

The Xenomania-produced track is an urgent, bubbly club pop track with thrashing synths and hyperactive hooks. It positions The Saturdays back on the party line where they’ve clicked heels to well-worn hits like ‘What About Us’ and ‘All Fired Up’.

Sonically, ‘What Are You Waiting For?’ sounds like a craftily edited compilation of several massive pop tunes you’ve heard in the last 12 months, which might explain the sense of déjà vu in your first listen.

The Saturdays’ droning vocals in the verse followed by a shouty chorus recalls something Neon Jungle or Icona Pop have done.

The girls sing, “Cause the party ain’t over ‘til we party through! Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon!”.

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The Saturdays ’30 Days’ Music Video

Despite ’30 Days’ being some kind of emotional ode to long distance love aches, you won’t catch The Saturdays sporting windswept tears or looking all sombre by the pool side in this video.

Instead, here comes the next sensible option: speed dating in an American diner with loads of cute boys who look like they could all either be on the Glee extras list or the next Gym Class Heroes video.

The name of the game is simple. It’s written on the damn board above the counter, “Speed dating – find your soulmate in 30 dates or less”.

But rather than cleverly playing up the inherently cheesy story line like Sophie Ellis-Bextor did in ‘I Won’t Change You’, these girls frustratingly dawdle about looking pedestrian, dashing from one corner of the diner to the next – all the while barely managing to convey any sense of commitment to the production.

The Saturdays haven’t always bothered with eye-popping choreography or fashion forward visual presentations but I feel like with this video, they really were resting their heels on my last nerve.

Perhaps it was the stagnant, predominantly close ups to mid-shots that frustrated me. I think they were trying to make it look like it wasn’t just Una who was exempt from a full body shot. Every single one of them had to be framed in a similar way for consistency.

On top of that, they set 90% of the shots in this cramped diner, giving the viewers a dull aching sense of claustrophobia. Fuck, I sound like Mama Lim at a house inspection. Something about the feng shui up in here just ain’t right.

Mollie King, shanté you stay.

The rest of you basic bitches can sashay away. Especially Rochelle and that unflattering new hair colour that makes her look like a haggard old piece from Basketball Wives. Gurl, that is not the look.

I am particularly pleased with the multiple angles of elegant face Ms Mollie is serving in ’30 Days’. I feel like she was the only one here who looked like she knew exactly how and when to tilt it for the camera.

Una’s bumpgate.

I mean, what a load of rubbish about editing out her baby bump. They had you gagging at the 45 second mark when all five girls were shown running to the counter with Una strategically hidden at the back – making it look like it took four grown ass women to cover her belly.

‘What a farce’, you thought.

Then fast forward to a later part of the clip, we see her caressing her belly from behind the table. You can’t say none of this was planned on – Una talking about editing out her baby bump from the video to the way the shots were sequenced?

If this was fuckery foisted by a more well-known diva, I’m sure there’d be more people caring and clutching their pearls in disgust.

Watch The Saturdays‘ ’30 Days’ music video:



Footnotes:

The Saturdays will release ’30 Days’ on 13 May in the UK. By then most astute pop music listeners would’ve moved on to bigger and better things like new releases by Marina & The Diamonds, Sam Sparro and Scissor Sisters. Good luck, gurls.

The Saturdays ’30 Days’ Single Review

Forget about the actual song because I think it’d be far more interesting to see how them Saturdays‘ fans are gonna keep stanning for a passing-grade song that won’t be released until mid-fucking-May. That’s longer than a 30-day wait, y’guys. Get me my pocketbook, I’m outta here.

Like it or not, ’30 Days’ comes loaded with a bit of pressure on the mostly on-point British girlband. After a collective clutching of pearls when their album On Your Radar flopped in November, this is the all important next step to reaffirm The Saturdays‘ status as one of England’s leading girl groups.

“30 days” is not enough to get “all fired up” about.

’30 Days’ strategically catapults the ladies back into the nondescript dance beats that made them relevant with ‘All Fired Up’. However, there’s something frustratingly pedestrian about ’30 Days’ that you’re either gonna be able to get over in the first few listens or condemn it to hell.

If you did a cross-examination of ’30 Days’ and its next of kin ‘All Fired Up’, you’ll probably find that one lacks what the other track has.

This new jam brings some emotionally pertinent lyrics – and y’all know how I live for dance ballads – which directly contrasts the repetitive, throwaway lines of ‘All Fired Up’. However, ’30 Days’ doesn’t quite have the spark and wall-to-wall hooks of ‘All Fired Up’.

It was obvious that ‘All Fired Up’ could get away with slapping on one-dimensional club beats because the mish-mash of melodies and hooks more than compensated for it.

The problem with ’30 Days’ is that you’ve really heard it all after the 1:20 mark. However, I am happy to debate over cocktails whether the jet whoosh at 0:13 and 2:28 is a mild stroke of genius or not.

Listen to The Saturdays‘ brand new single ’30 Days’:



The music video is expected to drop soon but don’t expect to clock Una Healy‘s baby bump. The young yummy mummy has apparently ordered for the bump to be edited out of the clip because she feels it’s not relevant any more now that she has given birth.

Gurl, please. I know of plenty of women who have been in that situation and they’re not airbrushing any baby bumps out. It’s not a question of relevance, it’s a question of whether her bump’s getting in the way of the band’s youthful party girl image.

Update – how is this post travelling for value? Here comes the Max Sanna and Steve Pitron remix of ’30 Days’:



Footnotes:

’30 Days’ will be released on 13 May in the UK. The single comes with a b-side ‘Turn Myself In’ and the iTunes EP also packs in a remix of ’30 Days’ and a thrilling karaoke version.

Pre-ordering it will get you a Saturdays-only version of their album track ‘The Way You Watch Me’, which originally featured Travie McCoy and was supposed to be the girls’ fourth single from this era.

Chart Feed – 26.03.12

It’s just past midnight and I’ve been compiling this post for the past four hours non-stop. It’s somewhat understandable that I want to just drop dead now to the sound of Madonna‘s ‘Gang Bang’ on repeat and never wake up again.

This week’s Chart Feed is one for the history books – especially if you’re the world’s biggest boyband of the moment: One Direction. Their legendary storming of the US Billboard charts makes them the first ever British band to have their first album go #1 in the States.

Elsewhere, Katy Perry blasts to #1 on the UK charts and we also look ahead to new releases by The Saturdays, Scissor Sisters and Calvin Harris.

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Chart Feed – 09.01.12

“There shouldn’t be much to report on this week’s Chart Feed because Beyoncé had her baby and nothing else would be on the news, right?” Sometimes I feel like my little brother is the only one who gets the way the world should be run.

On this week’s Chart Feed, the festive season’s definitely been canned now with Michael Bublé‘s career-defining Christmas album freefalling out of the Top 20 everywhere. We all knew it would come to this. Meanwhile, Empress Adele returns to top the US and UK album charts and comes closer to breaking more records, Kelly Clarkson discounts her way back up the charts, and I have a fit over the new Will Young, The Saturdays and Rebecca Ferguson single choices.

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