Feed Limmy Songs of 2012: #20 – #11

At this point, y’all are probably thinking, ‘anything goes with this goddamn list.’

Songs of 2012: #20 - #11

I’ve tried really hard to suppress my delight in some of these songs because I know in my head, they’re probably non-events to the majority of you “discerning pop music listeners” but  under very inexplicable circumstances I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy the likes of Toni Braxton‘s barely-known dance single ‘I Heart You’ and even Melanie Amaro‘s saccharine uptempo ‘Don’t Fail Me Now’.

Not just enjoy. But I’ve kept each of these songs on repeat in all sorts of places – when I’m up in the gym, strutting down supermarket aisles, roaming the streets of Paris by myself. Everywhere.

Here are the tracks that reign in my Top 20 this year:

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Toni Braxton ‘I Heart You’ Music Video

Toni Braxton‘s first real attempt at making dance music shouldn’t sound as flawless as this.

‘I Heart You’ is such a classy and  elegant anti-thesis to all the aggressive synth and dubstep infused beats infiltrating the charts right now. It’s precisely the kind of innocuous dance production you want to hear complement – and not compete with – a singer as sultry as Ms Toni. However, the daggy and painfully budget video is another case altogether.

I feel like mama should’ve consulted with her sassy younger sister Tamar or asked Kelly Rowland for her director’s number with this one, because I’m sure that with the right styling and direction, ‘I Heart You’ could’ve come for J.Lo ass.

Toni‘s long-time director Bille Woodruff – who was behind numbers like ‘Unbreak My Heart’ and ‘He Wasn’t Man Enough’ – really should’ve brought something fresh to the table to put his girl at her fighting best.

I think since the 44-year old diva’s already channeling some Crystal Waters realness with this track, they should’ve gone all 90s and really recaptured the kind of effects used in 90s dance music videos. Y’know, with a bit more research and effort, this could’ve been a proper statement for Ms Toni.

Not the look.

In ‘I Heart You’ we see glimpses of Toni, the flawless siren, but somehow with the wrong wig and dress for most parts – memaw ends up looking like some law secretary hitting town for the first time since her son graduated from college. It’s not screaming 2012 or next-level TB. In fact, what is this video trying to portray? We’re not getting a sense for a particular style here. Are we meant to be reading WE Network Toni or should it be modern dance diva Toni?

The visual presentation doesn’t suggest anything at all. One minute she’s in a flirty, short pink dress and hooped earrings, next she’s looking like Aunty Toni in a leather jacket chaperoning her niece to the senior prom, and then she’s rocking some ornate drag queen’s headgear.

She needs to send a very clear message about who Toni Braxton‘s meant to be in this new era with these bold new dance beats so fans and viewers alike can grasp onto something. Otherwise, I’m afraid to say, Toni risks fading further into irrelevance.

We need to take this more seriously.

And another thing. Listen, ma. I’ve spent a lot of time strutting stone-faced around the city to ‘I Heart You’, so trust me when I say this is an emotive dance ballad that’s best served with a certain level of sultry elegance. None of this step-clap-whip-your-hair-and-grin bullshit. This is not a flash mob. You’re singing about falling desperately in love with a man who’s in love with another woman.

Watch Toni Braxton‘s ‘I Heart You’ video:


Toni Braxton’s ‘I Heart You’ is now out in the States. It’s the lead single from her forthcoming eighth studio album interestingly titled Heartstrings & Synagogue Vibes, which is set to arrive in May.

You better hang onto your wigs because this is the grandest concept album of the year. Ms Toni is apparently threatening a double-disc extravaganza that marries dance/R&B with Jewish and Arabic-inspired productions.

Feed Limmy’s Top 30 Albums of 2010: #30 – #21

Run and tell somebody.

The Feed Limmy Albums of 2010 is now upon us, ranking my favourite and most defining LPs of the year. We’re waddling in a digital age where consumers are more inclined to purchase individual tracks than to endure an entire album with only a handful of favourites.

And with that comes, what I would expect to be, a pressing need for artists to get it right and craft the strongest and most cohesive album possible. Here’s a picking of 2010 albums and EPs that have made an impression on me and earned the Feed Limmy stamp of approval.

Check on our first ten:

#30 – 8bit Heart by Simon Curtis

Imagine a fizzy fusion of N*Sync pop with Britney‘s Bloodshy & Avant sessions.
Key tracks: ‘Diablo’ and ‘Joystick’.

#29 – Insatiable by Nadine Coyle

An acceptable blend of styles, carefully tailored to reflect the Girls Aloud warbler’s sonic preference.
Key tracks: ‘Runnin’, ‘Chained’, ‘Lullaby’ and ‘Put Your Hands Up’.

#28 – No Gravity by Shontelle

The Barbadian singer’s reinvention and commercial awakening begins here.
Key tracks: ‘Perfect Nightmare’, ‘Impossible’ and ‘Take Ova’.

#27 – Pulse by Toni Braxton

Vocals like suede, draped elegantly over a collection of contemporary R&B ballads. Purpose served.
Key tracks: ‘Yesterday’, ‘Make My Heart’ and ‘Why Won’t You Love Me?’

#26 – Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

Even the hipsters can’t help but give in to this indulgent serving of guilty pleasure pop.
Key tracks: ‘Teenage Dream’, ‘The One That Got Away’ and ‘Firework’.

#25 – Songs From The Tainted Cherry Tree by Diana Vickers

A mix of youthful pop and enchanting ballads perfectly tailored for the X Factor alumni’s waify vocals.
Key tracks: ‘Once’, ‘The Boy Who Murdered Love’ and ‘Numb’.

#24 – Still Standing by Monica

A soulful and relevant return to form for R&B goddess Mo.
Key tracks: ‘Still Standing’, ‘Love All Over Me’, ‘One In A Lifetime’ and ‘Believing In Me’.

#23 – Illumination by Miami Horror

To me, this is what summery dance music is in 2010.
Key tracks: ‘Holidays’ and ‘Imagination’.

#22 – Introduction by Florrie

Fun, chic and effortlessly cool – this is only the beginning.
Key tracks: ‘Summer Nights’ and ‘Left Too Late’

#21 – Up From Below by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

My lazy Sunday arvo soundtrack, especially on days where I’m nursing a hangover.
Key tracks: ‘Home’, ‘Janglin’ and ‘Simplest Love’.


Check out Feed Limmy’s Songs of 2010: #30 – #21.

Keep your ears to the ground and hand on your heart for the #20 – #11 of our songs and albums of 2010.

Headlines – 09.10.10

Making headlines in pop this week…

Kelly Rowland confirms her long-awaited album will drop next month for the international market. According to Auspop, the as-yet-untitled LP will drop in Australia 26 November and 29 November in the UK. Queen is positively freaking out now. The new Guetta-crafted single ‘Forever And A Day’ has been added to Aussie radio but I’m still somewhat bitter about ‘Commander’ getting slept on here. Ms Kelly hinted that the international market will get a more “dance”-inclined tracklisting and US, an urban flavoured one early next year.

Right. Let’s hear your thoughts on Ms Kelly‘s freshly shorn crop because that thing is seriously giving me all types of Real Housewives of Atlanta fever.

Ke$ha is fittingly re-releasing her Animal album as Cannibal next month. The pop rookie’s been quite the success story in the last year with four hit singles but she’s almost doing a Fame Monster-esque repackage with anywhere between five to eight new tracks. The Prophet reports that the feisty glitter monger has locked in tracks with Dr Luke, Benny Blanco and DJ Ammo (see: producers behind this album’s hits), and also with a new collaborators: Bangladesh (see: Beyonce‘s ‘Diva’). Please let this be a revelation because I’m beyond bored of her brand of crunk pop.

Check out an alternate version of Ke$ha‘s ‘Take It Off’ video co-starring Jeffree Star and a camp-as-fuck entourage. Neons, face paint and Tron-inspired superpowers – who needs the original version now?

Usher has announced that he’s recording with Lady Gaga. At this stage, nobody knows if it’s going on Gaga or Urshurrr’s album. The man has been arse-flapping about how working with Mother Monster “would be like making art”. I mean, please. Do you think Usher can handle Gaga mega art? Watch as she discreetly slips him one of her old R&B demos she did with Rob Fusari.

The Script said they missed the deadline for Leona Lewis’s last album. The Irish rockers said they submitted a track for Leona to record but she had already wrapped up the Echo project. Having said that, Script bass player Mark Sheehan said Leona’s label loved it but deemed the track a little “too dark for her”. But moving onto her next album, the pristine chanteuse has confirmed that she has once again teamed with Ryan Tedder (who wrote her mega hits ‘Happy’ and ‘Bleeding Love’), and a new single will be out early next year. A DVD of Leona‘s grand first concert – The Labyrinth Tour – is expected to drop next month in the UK.

Designers, are you ready for this week’s challenge? Florence Welch (of Florence + The Machine, obviously) is looking for fashion designers to design a stage outfit for her performance in New York next month. The quirky singer has teamed up with Luckymag.com and Talenthouse.com for this special design challenge. Check here for entry details.

Kate Ceberano is letting out a Christmas album next month. Now before you cynics sink your claws in, Kate is not spending your Christmas dollar. Every cent of the proceeds from her imaginatively titled Merry Christmas LP goes to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Ms Ceberano certainly isn’t relying on this to make up the rent money. She makes her bed with all the cash she rakes in from end-of-year work Christmas party appearances (true story: she played at ours last year). Merry Christmas features sparkly-tinselled duets with Ronan Keating, David Campbell and Mark Vincent, and is produced by Chong Lim (local Dancing with The Stars music director).

Toni Braxton needs to fire her financial planner. No, wait. She can’t even afford one now because bitch is broke bankrupt again for the second time in twelve years. TMZ reported that Ms Toni has accrued a Roc-A-Fella shattering $10-$50 million debt and because sales for her Pulse album were so stratospheric, you know she’s going to be just fine. I genuinely feel for Toni because we know she’s got a heart condition and a child with special needs, which might explain the Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre debt listed, but who forced her to splurge on Tiffany’s and the Four Seasons Hotels?

Miley Cyrus has released the video for her second international single: dance ballad ‘Who Owns My Heart’. Is it wrong that I like this song? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in love with it – just embarrassingly in ‘like’ with it.

Meanwhile, the Americans will get her cover of Poison’s 80s power ballad ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’, which was a hit years before she was even conceived.

This is not news for you guys any more but how fucking awesome is Pink’s cover art for her Greatest Hits… So Far!!! and single ‘Raise Your Glass’? I was never sold on the Funhouse circus theme or I’m Not Dead’s Americana rock motif. Designers, thank you for bringing the electrifying slick and shine on.

Fancy a cool hip hop/dubstep mash up? Check out Ultra Magnus (aka Greg Stoner)’s wicked mix here – featuring an eclectic blend of Notorious B.I.G., Beastie Boys, M.I.A., Daft Punk, CSS, Prince and more.

It’s Going To Been KILLA! by Ultra Magnus

Chart Feed – 31.05.10

Glitter trash Ke$ha scores her third consecutive solo Top 3 single in Australia this week with ‘Your Love Is My Drug’. The backlash must be running behind schedule because I thought we’d be over her brand of AutoTune crunk pop by now.

Miley Cyrus‘ statement single ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ enters our charts at #18 this week, faring far better in New Zealand where it debuted at #5. Everyone loves to watch a good Disney princess go bad but seriously, if you think Miley’s heading for hell, consider this syphilis-ridden smutfest courtesy of Kiely Williams (formerly of Cheetah Girls).

Could the latest instalment of Glee be their biggest one yet? Glee: The Music, Volume 3 – Showstoppers is their first compilation to have simultaneously gone #1 in the US, Australia and Canada. Magic happens when you’re pulling off classics like ‘Total Eclipse of The Heart’, ‘Physical’ and ‘Bad Romance’. The Glee ensemble will release another EP on 18 June – Journey To Regionals, featuring tracks from the season one finale.

Has Alexandra Burke peaked already? ‘All Night Long’ buggered off before I could even get my pre-drinks on. The single dropped out of the UK Top 10 this week after a quick peak at #4 but on the bright side, Alexandra is hitting our shores this week. I’m eager to hear what Aussies make of this bubbly young diva.

I don’t think I’ve heard a new Katie Melua song since ‘Nine Million Bicycles’ rolled out five years ago. Therefore, her current existence – we won’t talk relevance – in the music industry has come as a shock to me. Melua’s latest LP The House debuts at #4 in the UK this week, making it her fourth consecutive UK Top 5 album.

Hit the panic button! KelisFlesh Tone has made a death drop from #46 to #93 this week on the UK charts. At this point, I’m trying to justify this unfortunate downward turn with a hint of snobbery. Maybe Flesh Tone‘s meant to be that underground record critics and subversive pop music fans adore – and mainstream interest of any kind would simply unsettle the exclusivity of this fan club.

Janelle Monae‘s sci-fi funk concept album The ArchAndroid debuts at #17 in the US this week. While Diddy and Big Boi are toasting to that, it’s all down hill from here for Charice and Toni Braxton. Charice dropped from last week’s #8 debut to #28, while Toni Braxton‘s Pulse is almost out of the Top 50 after just three weeks. Maybe these two balladeers should tour the States with Leona Lewis – their album sales could all benefit from a combined fan base.

Christina Aguilera‘s nasty piece ‘WooHoo’ debuts at #79 in the US this week. She boasts on the track: “all the boys think it’s cake when they taste my (woohoo!)” My appetite for jam donuts just packed its bag and left the country.

Feedlimmy Top 20 Most Played This Week:

#1 Girlicious – Maniac*
#2 Kelly Rowland – Shake Them Haters Off*
#3 Kelly Rowland – Commander
#4 Kelly Rowland – On & On
#5 Christina Aguilera – Prima Donna*
#6 Glee Cast – The Boy Is Mine
#7 davidlim – See It In Myself
#8 Christina Aguilera – Woohoo (feat. Nicki Minaj)*
#9 Christina Aguilera – Elastic Love*
#10 Janelle Monae – Dance or Die
#11 Christina Aguilera – Lift Me Up*
#12 Christina Aguilera – You Lost Me*
#13 Aggro Santos feat. Kimberly Wyatt – Candy
#14 Natalie Imbruglia – Smoke
#15 Natasha Bedingfield – Touch
#16 The Frequency – Destiny’s Child Special with Dave and Jeff*
#17 Christina Aguilera – I Am*
#18 Christina Aguilera – Desnudate*
#19 Christina Aguilera – Vanity*
#20 Christina Aguilera – All I Need*
* Added to playlist this week.

Chart Feed – 17.05.10

Not that Mothers’ Day presents should be about what I want, but I wish I had picked Tina Arena’s Live: The Onstage Collection over Celine Dion’s concert DVD now. I’m sure mum would’ve preferred an intimate and engaged performance over a grand stage with travelators. Mama Tina’s live CD/DVD combo debuted at #22 in Australia this week while Mama Celine’s package entered the UK charts at #11.

It’s clear no one’s buying this shit. Brian McFadden’s Wall of Soundz is set to drop out of our Top 50 after just three weeks on the shelves. The album slipped from a barely adequate debut of #27 to #45 this week. Brian recently tweeted that he’s threatening a Wall of Soundz 2Landfill department, you have been warned.

If no one’s downloading Christina Aguilera’s new single, they’re certainly buying them in stores. ‘Not Myself Tonight’ has finally charted in Australia, entering at #22 this week and we can probably attribute sales to physical copies. It is the sixth best selling single in stores this week. ‘Not Myself Tonight’ also debuted at #12 in the UK this week.

Rihanna‘s ‘Te Amo’ debuts at #35 in Australia this week. The video was reportedly shot in France last month featuring French supermodel Laetitia Casta. Is it too much to ask for a lesbian scene?

It’s been a 10-week long crescendo but Alexandra Burke’s ‘All Night Long’ has finally cracked the UK Top 10 this week. The single currently sits at #8, matching the peak of ‘Broken Heels’. I wonder if Simon Cowell’s noticed. Probably not. Between his multi-million dollar cash cow SuBo and world domination with X Factor, he hasn’t got time for the likes of ABurke.

I’ve got a horrible sinking feeling about this. Much like the feeling you get when your favourite goldfish goes belly up on you. Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s ‘Bittersweet’ is floundering on the UK charts – and you know to admit defeat when your single tumbles from a feeble debut of #25 to #54 in a week.

Lady Gaga‘s The Remix compilation debuts at #3 in the UK this week. While I love knowing there’s two different tracklistings out there, it’s annoying that two of my favourite remixes on the Japanese edition – Crookers‘ ‘Telephone’ remix and Skrillex‘s ‘Bad Romance’ mix – have been omitted from the international version. The Remix sits at #13 in Australia this week.

Keane’s Night Train EP has debuted at #1 this week, making it the band’s fourth consecutive chart topper on the UK album charts.

Toni Braxton‘s Pulse didn’t do so bad after all, selling over 54,000 copies in its first week to debut at #9 in the US. She must be jizzing herself because all three singles have pretty much tanked in the States. Pulse debuts at #28 in the UK this week.

I don’t know a thing about Josh Turner but judging by his hunky smile on the album cover, I think I’d like to know more. His album Haywire (see above) leapt from #94 to #74 on the US charts this week. I’m gonna say looks had nothing to do with it.

Eminem’s ‘Not Afraid’ has debuted on top of the US charts this week. Believe it or not, this is only Slim’s third US #1 single ever. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve heard an Eminem song since ‘Mockingbird’ and ‘Ass Like That’ – I’ve booty bounced to the latter on numerous occasions at Heaven’s Door.

LaRoux is at the cusp of cracking the US Top 20 – ‘Bulletproof’ rose to #23 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week. Elsewhere, Macy Gray‘s comeback single ‘Beauty In The World’ moved up to #7 on the US Dance charts.

Feedlimmy’s Top 20 Most Played:

#1 Madonna – Revolver (David Guetta One Love Edit)*
#2 Kylie Minogue – All The Lovers*
#3 Kimberly Wyatt – Candy (feat. Aggro Santos)
#4 Kelis – Brave*
#5 Lady Gaga – Alejandro (Electrolightz Remix)
#6 Robyn – Fembot
#7 Wonder Girls – 2 Different Tears*
#8 Mark Sholtez – We Could Get Lost*
#9 Robyn – None of Dem
#10 Kelis – Scream*
#11 Kelis – Home*
#12 Kelis – Acapella
#13 Gabriella Cilmi – Superhot
#14 Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love
#15 Gabriella Cilmi – Robots
#16 Kelis – Emancipate*
#17 Kelly Rowland – Commander
#18 Yolanda Adams – I Gotta Believe
#19 Christina Aguilera – Not Myself Tonight
#20 Kelis – 22nd Century*
* = Added to playlist this week

Chart Feed – 10.05.10

There is no God. Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s brilliant new single ‘Bittersweet’ has missed the UK Top 20 altogether. The Freemasons-produced track crept in at #25 this week – making it her lowest charting single since ‘Today The Sun’s On Us’ (#64) three years ago.

Sophie has hinted that the next single ‘Off & On’ will be issued before the album Straight To The Heart drops on 8 June. This time, I’m getting my pre-order on.

Ex-Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt scores her first solo hit as a rent-a-vocalist for Aggro Santos’s ‘Candy’. The frenetic electro track entered the UK charts at #5 this week and, much as it pains me to admit, it’s pretty damn fierce. Kimberly’s done well considering Nicole Scherzinger’s best solo effort was only #14 in the UK for ‘Baby Love’.

Toni Braxton’s ‘Yesterday’ is finally out in the UK – eight months after it was launched in the US. The king-sized ballad is arguably the best thing Toni’s done since ‘Un-break My Heart’.

Despite its uncanny resemblance to Ryan Tedder ballads, I’m amazed to learn that the serial hit maker had no hand in ‘Yesterday’ – credit goes to hip hop producer DJ Frank E, who’s known for working with the likes of Flo Rida, T-Pain and Three 6 Mafia.

Mika and RedOne‘s riotous ‘Kick Ass’ debuts at #84 in the UK this week. Heaven forbid this pop perfect collaboration should yield no Top 10 hit.

Australia loves k.d. lang – her Recollection compilation replaced fellow Canadian Justin Bieber as the #1 selling album here this week. Elsewhere, k.d.’s rendition of ‘Hallelujah’ re-enters our charts at #13.

Mother’s Day rush has been good for memaw-friendly artists this week, boosting sales for Susan Boyle’s I Dreamed A Dream (#2), David Campbell’s On Broadway (#7), Michael Buble’s Crazy Love (#9) and Doris Day’s Hits, Hollywood & Broadway (#29).

Then there’s the usual suspects who conveniently drop an album during this sentimental week, and while it wouldn’t have worked with a 2Pac tribute album, it’s a winner for Andre Rieu and David Hobson whose albums You Raise Me Up and The Enchanted Way (could the latter be a children’s audiobook?) debuted at #8 and #25 respectively.

The gays might’ve had a Glee-fit over last week’s Madonna episode but it certainly didn’t boost sales of the show’s ‘Power of Madonna’ EP. The eight-track tribute EP featuring vibrant covers of ‘Like A Prayer’, ‘4 Minutes’ and ‘Like A Virgin’ dropped out of our Top 20 this week.

Shakira‘s ‘Gypsy’ enters the US Billboard chart at #65 this week. She’s only ever performed this song twice on national TV – once on American Idol and before that, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show – to great promo results.

Billboard reported a 313% spike in digital sales after these televised performances, prompting over 30,000 downloads of ‘Gypsy’. And that’s how Shakira rolls.

Feedlimmy Most Played Top 20:

#1 Kelly Rowland – Commander
#2 Christina Aguilera – Mercy On Me
#3 Peggy Lee – Is That All There Is?
#4 Kimberly Wyatt – Candy (feat. Aggro Santos)
#5 JLS – The Club Is Alive*
#6 davidlim – Get Crazy
#7 Christina Aguilera – Not Myself Tonight
#8 Anya Marina – Whatever You Like
#9 Lindsay Lohan – Can’t Stop Won’t Stop*
#10 Sabrina Washington – OMG
#11 Robyn – Dancehall Queen
#12 Robyn – Dancing On My Own
#13 Jason DeRulo – Whatcha Say
#14 Lady Gaga – Ribbons*
#15 Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Bittersweet
#16 Will.i.Am feat. Crookers – Fly Away*
#17 Glee Cast – Physical (feat. Olivia Newton-John)*
#18 Mary J. Blige – Each Tear (feat. Vanessa Amorosi)*
#19 Goldfrapp – Rocket (Richard X One Zero Remix)*
#20 Gramophonedzie – Why Don’t You*
* = Added to playlist this week.